Heavy Rain

Well it's been pretty nasty out..and cold. I can actually feel it in my bones sometimes..it's like no matter how much I wrap myself in clothing or blankets, it passes right through me. Well anyway, my Mom told me I can't go to beauty school...because we don't have the money. Just when I actually get excited for something..and it falls apart again. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself...my mom said when I get a job THEN I can pay for myself to go..but I thought I was being told a few months ago to get a job because I needed to pay for gas and insurance if I want to learn how to drive. Don't forget about whenever I want to go somewhere with my friends...I'm supposed to get a job to pay for all this...but I don't see how. Things keep getting murkier and murkier. I don't even know what else to write about, even though I really do feel like writing. I mean there are some things I know I want to write about, but I don't quite know how I want to go about writing it..if that makes sense..Lets just say...I wish you would give me the time of day anymore..it really hurts my feelings when I can tell you don't give a shit about me..or that when we do talk, I can tell you wish that I would just shut up and go away by your answers. It just isn't fair